If you haven’t read this book yet, purchase it today and put down everything else you are reading. Dating guides frequently give strict rules about how to behave around prospective partners. So is complaining about your back pain or your ex-wife.I think this principle applies perfectly to dating.

We set our terms and conditions (“He’d better pay for my drink or I’m outta here”) and calculate our advantages (“I hope she realizes she’s not getting any younger, whereas I have all the time in the world”). Our pitches will vary depending on how confident we feel or how hot our date is.

Sometime we take on the slightly hunched or overly slick demeanor of the seller (“I have to get her to like me! And sometimes we see ourselves as the “buyer,” with the power to coolly evaluate whether or not this person is worth our time. It’s not about scoring brownie points or playing by the rules.

This book is terrible if you’re looking for ACTION items, but it is a wonderful non-fiction read and can greatly assist you in seeing what is possible.

Also, some of the attitudes described of the historical figures are amazing. If you are interested in real, intuitive and actionable advice about dating, women and relationships then I urge you to get it now. In the book, I outline the 7 steps to getting a lasting, healthy relationship with a woman you are truly attracted to.

"He's just not that into you." Such defenses serve a positive and a negative function, she says.

"They can keep us from being overwhelmed by negative emotions, but if you are always in denial and your head is in the sand, that's not useful either because it keeps you holding onto a relationship where there is none," she tells Web MD. "Sometimes there is something going on that is not about you," she says.

Instead of attempting to impress or get the upper hand, why not simply treat your date with kindness and respect?

After a magical first date, Susan was so sure that she would hear from Stephen again that she even boasted to friends that she'd met "the one." Two agonizing weeks later, she was shocked that she never did. Ever since talk show host Oprah Winfrey featured the book, , on an episode of the Oprah show, it's been flying off of book shelves and racing up the best-seller list.

There are dictates about who should pick the restaurant and pay the check, how far in advance the date should be requested, and how long to wait before sending the follow-up text. But here’s what’s interesting about this question: Why do we assume that our best selves are fake?