Cellular phones have been found to cause cancer in white rats. Free trade stops wars, and we figure out how to fix the rest. This country is an idea, and one that’s lit the world for two centuries and treason against that idea is not just a crime against the living! Because I'm looking at the TV right now, and damn if 28 U. senators haven't just walked onto the floor to help. Your father was a prick who could never get over the fact that he wasn't as smart as his brothers. I don't have to tell you they don't need to shout at a soccer match because they're never going to go to one. Well, the variety of cheers alone coming from the cheap seats at Giants stadium when they're playing the Cowboys is enough for a jihad, to say nothing of street corners lined church next to synagogue, next to mosque, newspapers that can print anything they want, women who can do anything they want including taking a rocket ship to outer space, vote, and play soccer. Josh: But listen, don't worry about all this right now. Drop it in, and let the water take it by the kelp and lift it out. And the Royal Family allows the Religious Police to travel in groups of six carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women. Let's get Abbey to New Hampshire but I'm not going to the bunker.

You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Sam: [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. Where was the retribution for the families, and where is the warning to the rest of the world that Americans shall walk this Earth unharmed, lest the clenched fist of the most mighty military force in the history of mankind comes crashing down on your house?! It's how you behave if you're the most powerful nation in the world. Listen, Leo Mc Garry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. But we're here now, tomorrow night we do an immense thing; we have to say what we feel, that government, no matter what its failures in the past and in times to come for that matter, government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind. Society has a right to protect itself, but it doesn't have a right to be vengeful. Let me take you to safety." But the man shouted back, "I’m religious. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, "Hey you, you down there. Let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety." But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety. and certainly a credible one from a man who's fought in a war. I don’t think the framers were thinking of three guys in a Dodge Durango. But I know that if you combine all the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark, and Australia you’ll get a population roughly the size of the United States. Do you think it’s because Americans are more homicidal by nature or do you think it’s because those guys have gun control laws? They lie when 72 percent of Americans say they're tired of a sex scandal, while all the while, newspaper circulation goes through the roof for anyone featuring the story. I think giving people a vision of government that's more than Social Security checks and debt reduction is good. Sam: [reading an excerpt rejected from the State of the Union speech] Over the past half century, we've split the atom, we've spliced the gene and we've roamed Tranquility Base. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?

Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. Where was Morris's protection, or anybody else on that airplane? [sitting down] Oh, man, Leo..I think of all the work you put in to get me to run, when I think of all the work you did to get me elected... [Leo and Bartlet laugh]Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. [pause] We're running away from ourselves and I know we can score points that way, I was a principal architect of that campaign strategy right along with you, Josh. For all I know, that thinking reflected the best wisdom of its time, but it's just plain wrong by any modern standard. God will save me."A helicopter was hovering overhead. " The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Lord John Marbury: Well that's the right sentiment... We build a shield and somebody will build a better missile. It says "a well regulated militia being necessary for the security of a free state, the government shall not infringe." The words "well regulated" and "militia" are in the first sentence. They're going to check it every night before they go home.

Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Leo: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. As we speak, the Coast Guard is fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to blockade the Port of Miami. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman’s right to choose. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. And that all the residents should evacuate their homes. Joey (Kenny): There are people you haven't persuaded yet. Otherwise, you're like the French radical watching the crowd run by and saying, "There go my people. If you studiously say nothing, nothing that causes you trouble, nothing that's a gaff. They're all so poor, and many of 'em talk funny, and don't have proper table manners... J.: I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about two dead teenagers while wearing a ball gown and you know that because you're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly. Well, I'll just call the President and suggest to him that he allow a huge bipartisan vote on the floor of the U. House of Representatives calling him a liar and that he welcome the result. An issue where the feministas and the White House disagree. I may not have had sinister intent at the outset but there were plenty of opportunities for me to make it right. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty. So instead of retiring as superintendent of the Ohio Valley Union Free School District, he retired head of the math department at William Henry Harrison Junior High. I can't remember what we were selling, but you worked off a script. Toby: There's always been a concern about the two Bartlets. How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union, when the President praised the Islamic people as “faithful” and “hard-working” only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam, but none of that is the point… If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. [long pause]Ainsley: He would be able to, but that isn't the point. [To Celia] And, you, stop trying to take the fun out of my day. Bartlet: Let me tell you, you're really showing me something tonight. Professor Milgate: That’s because great achievement has no road map. I mean, when the electron was discovered in 1897, it was useless. Bartlet: Shaken, not stirred will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth.

And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack? A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town. And she knows it's beginning to show and she needs to cover herself with misdirection. You can win, if you run a smart disciplined campaign. Lots of times we don't know what right or wrong is but lots of times we do and come on, this is one. And so I announce to you tonight that I will bring the full resources of the Federal Government and the full reach of my office to this fundamental goal: We will cure cancer by the end of this decade. And any time there was opportunity for career advancement, it took him an extra five years because invariably there was a less qualified black woman in the picture. My name is..." And "Toby Ziegler" was okay for New York, but once I got into the other time zones, I needed a name that wasn't gonna bother anybody. How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab World told us we were desecrating their Holy Land while ignoring the fact that we were invited? Be exposed to social sciences, history, some literature. Bartlet: Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things: who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be, and incumbency, and campaign strategy - strategic overview, but the long and short of it is, my father never liked me, at all. There's a little thing called heart and you've got it, my friend. Neither were discovered with a practical objective in mind. If we stumble into truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is.

Sam and Toby are communications and my guess is that speech writing won't be a priority either. Surely we can do it again, as we did in the time when our eyes looked towards the heavens, and with outstretched fingers we touched the face of God. J.: I've been playing it fast and loose there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having, and reading the briefing book last night, I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important. You scare the hell out of the Secret Service, Zoey, and you scare the hell out of me, too. Why in the world would you want to try it when he's both at the same time? J.: Danny, if by standing up and lying, I misdirected Iraqi intelligence for even half a beat, then it was absolutely worth it. I just want to mention that at several points during the evening, I was referred to as both a liberal and a populist, and a fellow fourth from the back called me a socialist, which is nice, I haven’t heard that for a while. "We hold these truths to be self-evident," they said, "that all men are created equal." Strange as it may seem, that was the first time in history that anyone had ever bothered to write that down. My name is Josiah Bartlet, and I accept your nomination for the Presidency of the United States!

I don't think they're going to be issuing a whole lot of releases. What will be the next thing that challenges us, Toby? You know that when smallpox was eradicated, it was considered the single greatest humanitarian achievement of this century? But that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. " You've had some experience battling Jed Bartlet when he's right, and you've had some experience battling him when he's popular. There were only 50 people in the world who can't understand why I lied this morning, and they all work in the White House pressroom. Bartlet: They’re telling me that we’re out of time. Josiah Bartlett, who was the New Hampshire delegate representative to the Second Continental Congress, the one that sat in session in Philadelphia in the summer of 1776 and announced to the world that we were no longer subjects of King George III, but rather a self-governing people. Tina Bishop and Linda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the President of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained armed guards in the history of the world. Bartlet: Tonight, what began on the commons in Concord, Massachusetts, as an alliance of farmers and workers, of cobblers and tinsmiths, of statesmen and students, of mothers and wives, of men and boys, lives two centuries later as America! [over Leo's attempt to speak up] They did that, so we did this. He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words civis Romanus -- I am a Roman citizen. Now if our tactics seem less than civilized it’s because so are our attackers. It says homosexuality is an abomination and punishable by death. Leo: [to Josh] This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! " The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. So there it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. J.: [nodding] I'm Chief Bromden, yes, at this particular moment. Bartlet: Did you know that two thousand years ago a Roman citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? You were not the first choice, but you are the last one, and the right one. A man has left himself open to the kind of attack from which men in my business do not recover. The assistant Attorney General is going to be the Acting A. If he tells you he wants to bring out the National Guard, do what he tells you. Lady I'm not embarrassed that my son is gay, my government is. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV this administration is gonna protect the Muppets, we're gonna protect Wall Street Week, we're gonna protect Live From Lincoln Center and by God, we are going to protect Julia Child. It says a rebellious child can be brought to the city gates and stoned to death. And the fact that you think I give a damn that there is some friction between me and your staff is certainly proof enough of that. The seal is meant to be unfinished, because this country's meant to be unfinished. Say their approach to public policy makes you want to tear your hair out. Say they want to take your guns and open your borders but don't call them worthless. The people I have met have been extraordinarily qualified. Some of them will laugh and most of them won't care, but for some they might honestly see that it's about going to the blackboard and raising your hand. The French government offered it as a gift to the White House, I suppose in retribution for Euro Disney. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips -C. However, knowing you, as I do, I'm afraid I can't trust you to spend the change wisely. Which, by the way, that power is always unleashed in the name of preservation. At which point, you’re free to avail yourself of the entire justice system. This is what a member of the Georgia delegation had to say by way of opposition; 'If we list a set of rights, some fools in the future are going to claim that people are entitled only to those rights enumerated and no others.' So the Framers knew–Sam: It's not just about abortion, it's about the next 20 years. And moreover, in a country born on the will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this? I don't understand how this president, who I voted for, I don't understand how he can take such a completely weak ass position on gay rights. 95 through New Hampshire to the Mass Pike, and then cut over to the Merritt Parkway 'round Milford. It hasn't made it through the Senate yet, but that day will come, that day will come, that day will come soon. And I'm going to be the one standing here when you make history, whether you're going to or not. I am so off the charts tired of the gun lobby tossing around words like personal freedom and nobody calling 'em on it. And it certainly has nothing to do with public safety. Your gun control position doesn't have anything to do with public safety, and it's certainly not about personal freedom. Lionel Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! Twenty years later India sets off five nuclear explosions. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration, and this is what's next. J.: We have at our disposal a captive audience of schoolchildren. It's the only way we can survive." So now we got a new problem, because this country no longer has a commander-in-chief but has a father who's out of his mind because his little girl is in a shack somewhere in Uganda with a gun to her head! Donna: Yes, as it turns out, actually, you gave me more money than I needed to buy what you asked for. Ultimately, it is not the nuts that are the greatest threat to democracy, as history has shown us over and over and over again, the greatest threat to democracy is the unbridled power of the state over its citizens. The FBI says come out with your hands up, you come out with your hands up. At am, I’m using my executive power to nationalize the trucking industry. [Russo and the Truckers Union delegates look dumbfounded] You’re going to love our food. Sam: In 1787, there was a sizable block of delegates who were initially opposed to the Bill of Rights. I'm talking about health records and who's gay and who's not. If you ask me, we shouldn't be making laws against what's in a person head but I don't give a damn, it's fine. Sam: Oh, my guess is, he’ll take the Trans-Canada Highway to New Brunswick, then maybe catch the 1 and take the scenic route along the coast of Maine. She wants a college experience, and I can't blame her. It's not your job to tell me she wants to cut English Lit, it's not your job to tell me if she's dying her hair blue, or going to a strip club, or whatever it is she's doing with her friends. And the reason you're all looking a little pale right now is so do you. The flag burning amendment made it through the House with 20 votes over the required two-thirds. And not only do we get to be on the winning team, we get to lead the winning team. But God, John, I'm the one that convinced him to put you on the ticket. Sam: But for a brilliant surgical team and two centimeters of a miracle, this guy's [Josh] dead right now. They bought guns, they loaded 'em, they drove from Wheeling to Rosslyn, and until they pulled the trigger they had yet to commit a crime. But do you know what's even more insidious than that? Indira Gandhi herself said they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could. And when Pakistan gets nervous, everybody get nervous. And we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky. A sad reminder of the time when two powerful nations challenged each other and then boldly raced into outer space. Leo: You want to see me orchestrate this right now? These people who would walk into fire if you told them to. ”Leo: Well, you can start by telling the Hill the President's named his nominees to the FEC. We're gonna raise the level of public debate in this country, and let that be our legacy. Charlie: Well, I'm Personal Aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now trying to find a back door to this place to shove you out of, but I'll let him know you'd like to lodge a complaint. A disaster which nearly collapsed the banking industry and cost the taxpayers 500 billion dollars. [They stop running] You're backing the wrong horse. Now every Democratic congressman in a tight race is looking to get his picture taken with the president, and you're looking around the racquetball court, saying, "Where did everybody go? And I'm telling you you can't mess me around like this! J.: Danny, I just gotta tell you, that was - seriously - that was a turn-on when you said that, though I don't know why you decided to be your most haughty on the Dallas Morning News in that sentence. But if you expect anything different from the President of the United States, I suggest you vote for somebody else. Of setting the bar so low, I can hardly look at it. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student. 480 sexual assaults, 3,411 robberies, 3,685 aggravated assaults, all at gunpoint.