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Today, I want to give you a tool that will help you build metacognition, recognize bad relationships, and build good relationships. In biology, scientists use taxonomy to classify and categorize organisms.
The Hare reacts by trusting quickly, figuring that if they can “lock down” a partner with obligations such as housing, children, marriage, or joint purchases, they won’t have to worry about losing their partner.
The Tortoise and the Hare relationship tends to go south when the Hare realizes that every time they suggest leveling up the relationship, the Tortoise seems to move even slower.
The tortoise moves slowly but eventually passes the hare, uttering the famous line, “Slow and steady wins the race.” Except that in this case, relationships aren’t races, and nobody wins.
This is maybe the most common type of bad relationship.
Lastly, I want to point our that all relationships are different.
Despite the name of this field guide, finding yourself in any of the following relationship types doesn’t necessarily condemn you to a bad relationship – rather, it means you and your partner(s) might have more work to do than relationships that don’t fall into these categories. If you feel like you’re in one of these relationships and don’t know how to proceed, you might want to contact me for some personalized advice.
A more accurate assessment of the situation would be, “It’s not you, it’s me when I’m around you when you’re doing something that doesn’t work for me.” But that’s not simple to say or easy to figure out, because it requires : the ability to recognize and understand your own thought processes and patterns of interaction.
Metacognition is a skill, and it takes time to develop – hence the lengthy line of bad relationships that most of us subject ourselves to.
He seemed to know so much more about the world than I did: he could tell me about the grapes that wines were made from, how to identify different types of mushrooms, how to fix my car, how to make my bed properly.
I felt like a baby in comparison to him, and eventually it started to get me down.
The partner with lower self-esteem (the Mouse) inevitably begins viewing themself in comparison to their partner.