I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.

While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.

And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.

Most daters on mainstream sites like OKCupid, Tinder and are white.

And the statistics say that most of those white men are looking to date someone who “share their racial background.” That means that, for the most part, black women’s profiles are passed by.

One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.

The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!

We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.

And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!” Against my better judgment, I assumed that the wingman just wasn’t very good at his job and started talking to his friend anyway.These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.