The salt in the wound is my husband's going along with it. You don't have to stick with your own version of events, though.

His not taking a stand in regard to my presence leaves me wounded. You can instead choose to look at it from the daughter's perspective.

So please try seeing it as such and not giving it that second thought - or, even better, thoughtfully saying, "Enjoy yourselves.

Tell Daughter I said hi." Or, better still, endorse it by doing the same thing yourself.

SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: Talking About Remarriage As an older parent and stepparent you must realize that adult stepchildren—despite their age—frequently feel: As a new couple you must apply patience and understanding to these strong emotions. When confronted with difficult responses from adult children, assume a humble position and listen to their fears and concerns.

Accept them where they are and try to be responsive to their needs for information (especially about financial matters), emotional contact, and time as they adjust to yet another family transition they didn’t seek out.

Invite her to something occasionally, just you two - for coffee or lunch or a second opinion on something you're looking to buy.

If you ever need to get along without him there as a buffer, you'll be grateful you practiced it now.

You had parents - didn't you ever spend time with each of them one-on-one?

Wasn't it different, even just a little, from when the whole family was together?

Question: My 26-year-old stepdaughter recently sent a text to her father asking for some "daddy time." She asked whether they could meet for breakfast and specifically asked her father not to bring me. If she were 12, I'd probably be OK with it, but she's not.