Avoid offensive assumptions and behavior by understanding the position of women in Cuban society: their legal rights; access to education and health care; workforce participation; and their dating, marriage, and family life.

Boost your knowledge about how things work in Cuba to avoid insulting its people or their heritage.

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People look to me as some kind of authority when it comes to their Cuban lovers – although I’ve only written once on the Cuban fidelity question and never directly about love, lust or the like.

Still, Those Faithful Cubans is one of my all-time most popular posts and people search daily for information on the issue as the above – actual search terms from the last week – illustrate.

Try taking and maintaining a lover just like your male partner and watch the hit the fan.

The message is clearly ‘I can, but you can’t,’ coupled with ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ It’s a pitiable slice of paternalistic hypocrisy that chaps my ass. And the one-way street runs into carnal endeavors as well: while he may be hot for a threesome with another chick, if it occurs to you to suggest the same with another man.

Lest you think I’m about to malign an entire country and culture, let me clarify: there are exceptions to the rule – always – and if you’re in a relationship with a Cuban and reading this, you may be one of those lucky few. I know men who have been married 20 years (or longer) and have kept the same mistress all the while. In many cases, there’s little care taken to hide it – friends, family, colleagues are all hip to the scenario.

Upon first analysis, it seems logical to say: if everyone’s ok with it, what’s the problem?Sure, there are protective measures everyone can and should take, but condoms, which cost pennies apiece and are sold everywhere, are as popular here as turds at the beach.And let’s face it: there are many ways to swap fluids without penetration, when a condom does you no good.It has to be – Cuban women are too empowered, strong-willed, and educated to put up with that shit.The economic dynamic here also plays a part since 57% of all technical and professional jobs are held by women, which doesn’t lend itself to the financial domination men lord over women elsewhere.While this surely is not unique to Cuban machismo, it involves factors specific to culture and place, especially Afro-Cuban religions which, on the whole are absurdly homophobic and macho (see note 3).