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They may not realize it – in fact, White Knights and Nice Guys explicitly themselves on loving and respecting women – but it treats love as a transaction.
They want someone who will take them out on adventures and show them the magic that is the wonder of life…
never mind the fact that they’re not particularly adventurous and get seriously annoyed when their commute is 10 minutes longer than normal because now they’re going to miss part of Game of Thrones and have to wait until the DVR is finished recording.
You feel like you have a neon sign over your head that screams “this guy can’t get laid” and everyone is snickering at you whenever they see you. And what’s one of the best ways to show that you’re not the same loser you used to be? Showing your girlfriend off like a prize isn’t going to convince anyone that you’ve changed.
You go out and parade your girlfriend around like a banner. After all of those years of being terrified to talk to women, finding a girlfriend is like starting a new phase of life, a way of proving you’re not that guy any more. Who’s I’m going to be honest: I’ve fallen victim to this more times than I care to think about – for just about every reason you might think. It betrays that – for all the improvement you may well have made – you’re still looking to other people for validation. More often than not, people who are looking for a woman to “complete” them aren’t looking for a soul-mate so much as a lifestyle accessory.
No matter how much we plan or prepare, life frequently finds a way to kick our legs out from under us and drop us on our asses. New relationships especially require careful nurturing; it’s all-too-easy for a new or burgeoning relationship to fall apart because of unintentional neglect. It might be that your job has piled on the hours until you’re working 12 to 15 hour days without a break.
Or you’ve been put on the graveyard shift and when most people are out socializing (or asleep), you’re stuck at work.When we talk about someone “completing” us, we’re not talking about rolling along until we find our Missing Piece, we’re talking about someone who we never realized we needed.If you feel like you have a hole in your life, then you need to fix it to it. The classic White Knight is someone who tries to “earn” a relationship by “saving” a woman in some form of “distress”.But when you’re in this “out to prove it to the world” headspace, you really ” This is a horrible thing to do to another person – you’re denying her humanity and just using her to aggrandize yourself… It’s a sign that, deep down, you don’t believe you’ve to break up – is going drop C4 on the child’s popsicle stick house that is your ego. When we hear people talking about how someone “completes them”, we’re picturing Tom Cruise in the rain, desperately trying to convince the latest of his L-Ron-Hubbard-approved girlfriends that a) she should never wear heels again and b) she should love him and squeeze him and call him George. They’re looking for someone who is making up for some supposed lack in their life… Often, when guys talk about wanting someone who completes them, it means that they want someone who will them.They’re looking for someone someone who is going to help them see what they “missed out on” in life or who magically negates some quality they don’t like about themselves.The thing is: your partners aren’t there to fix you or fill a hole in your life.